YAY to Unfriending

I just went and unfriended like 250 people! WAHOOO
It sounds terrrrrriiibbbllee but the thing is they won't even know I've unfriended them!! HAHA
Because we're not friends in non fb life. Like REAL life.

It's been something that has been on my heart to do for such a long time!!!
AND I DID IT AND IT WAS SO NICE.
It was like when I cleaned out my wardrobe, but I cleaned out my friends hahahaha I am such a bad person. I think you should unfriend me!! (Saves me the trouble.)

I'm sorry if I've unfriended you but you still want to be friends with me. But we both know that I haven't seen you since highschool or for YEARS or I will most likely never going to seee you again!

GOODBYE xoxo

Being in a rut.

On Monday I slept the whole day.
Like by the whole day I don't mean like wake up late. I just slept and slept. It was because I watched episodes of friends till morning.  I basically know what happens in each episodes of friends. I wish I can say the same with the bible!

I can blame it on my laziness to sleep early or my addiction to tv shows.  Or like I just felt the whole Paris thing sink in. I just kept watching videos of it, watching videos of Syria. And just feeling numb. I was away in central London when I heard about Paris, we were on our Christian union getaway/retreat/conference. And I think it all hit me late.

Like Joyce Meyer says where there is an abundance or an overflow of something in a particular area of your life it's the devils playground. I find that is the case for me with tv shows, cookies, food in general, biting my nails, the occasional swearing, body image issues, negative thoughts etc... When we endulge in something its no longer a  healthy relationship. The preacher from Christian Union (who is also the pastor of the church I'm attending at Kingston) was saying the more you try live by the law and the stricter you are..... the more likely you are going to fall into temptation. Let the spirit do the work.

Then a question popped into my head.
How do you explain that to a person who knows about Jesus and knows about the spirit but hasn't experienced the spirit... what do you say?
I think the Lord just told me to let him do the rest. Which is the easiest answer and the best solution.

Anyway this was not the topic I wanted to write about haha... my point is there is nothing we can do by being so caught up in the evil in this world. Where we get so upset and overwhelmed by the tragedies of the world. God is telling us not to worry. So give it to God. Trust in him. He has placed you in the place you are at right now for a reason. Even if you're scared that London may be the next "target". There's no point living in fear.
In conclusion NZ is the safest place. So go live there haha

Pedestal

Jessica and I were talking at a lovely bar in Dublin. 

Jess started telling me about her thoughts before she was about to confess something she did that she wasn't proud of. She had a moment where she didn't want to mention it. This was because she told me she put me up on a pedestal. A higher level than she was at; which made her want to retain the information/ wrong doing / confession. She said that she was afraid of the judgement and how it was something "beneath me" so she shouldn't even mention it. 

When she told me this I was like "WHAT WHY! I SHOULD BE THE FIRST PERSON she can talk to! She shouldn't feel afraid to talk to me!!!!"

But the thing is..... I do this with my friends as well. My close friends....

I wanted to write about this because I know that people are feeling the same way. We almost can't create this strong support with one another as fellow Christians because we don't let our guard/ pride down. There's always something going on. We each have our own battles that we are fighting. 

I'm not saying continuously WORD VOMIT to your BFFL/Mentor.

I am saying that being a Christian I find it hard to approach my Christian friends when I have sinned or am in a viscous cycle of addiction.  I don't tell people what's really going on because I need to "keep my image". WTF. 

Imagine how much harder it would be for non christian friends to approach you when even your own friends don't and also YOU don't approach your own close christian friends!!!!!! (This is myself talking to myself so don't take it personally).

We need to come to our senses that it's not about living this HOLY Pharisee like life.

But LIVING a LIFE of HUMILITY. 

Saying you're not perfect is HUMILITY! 

It's so easy to tell this to God because HE OBVS knows. 

But it's harder to tell your friend/friends this when you know that she knows and you both know what you did was wrong. 

I have said this a thousand times. (Its this tumblr quote I've totally parphrased it) 

"saying that I am a Christian doesn't mean I'm saying I have my life together, it means I am so crappy at doing life on my own and I mess everything up. The only way I can carry on is because JESUS saved me". 

The only way this invisible wall broke between Jess and I; was through the sharing of my testimony. How I came to faith and love Jesus. It was a very special moment not only for Jess to hear that my life was never GREAT HAPPY SUNSHINES but for myself to realize everyone is going through something or has been through something. It was a good reminder for myself to see where I came from and also how far Jesus has been leading me down this road.  

IDK the answers here for everyone... 

But I believe if I start to adopt this open, transparent, true side about me; and to be able to tell what's really going on to my close friends I hope that they would do the same. 

Just like how Jess let her guard down to receive my help. 

I want and need to do the same. 

This is for your own soul. 

Take it or leave it.